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- Blogroll (5)
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- August 16, 2010: Post Divorce Hassles with Your Ex
- April 2, 2010: After the Divorce - What Happens if You Can't Agree?
- March 24, 2010: The Changing Reasons for Divorce
- October 12, 2009: Divorce Mediation May be a Good Option for Many
- October 8, 2009: Bankruptcy and Divorce – Which Should Come First?
- September 3, 2009: Insurance Products Need Special Care in Divorce
- August 25, 2009: The New Realities: Your House and Divorce – Can You Refinance?
- August 17, 2009: Save on Divorce Now, but Will You Pay Later?
- July 17, 2009: Sharing the House After Divorce - A New Trend?
- July 10, 2009: Too Poor to Get Divorced? Hang in there!
After the Divorce - What Happens if You Can’t Agree?
After the Divorce – What Happens if You Can’t Agree?
Just getting through a divorce is often quite a struggle – trying to agree on dividing assets, how children will be parented in two separate households, and coming to terms emotionally with issues from the former marriage. It is only natural that formerly married people will have disagreements after the divorce. Perhaps their settlement agreement is not entirely clear and both parties are interpreting it differently. Possibly one party does not agree with the terms of their settlement and chooses not to comply. The children may have different needs or changes in their lives. More often, in these difficult economic times, the financial situation of one or both parties may have changed – and probably for the worse. For example, what if the house doesn’t sell? What if one party is laid off from work for an extended period or becomes seriously ill and cannot make their payments? How can the settlement agreement be changed?
Parties can change the terms of one or both of their financial agreement and the parenting plan if they both agree to the changes. If they have difficulties in agreeing, they can certainly go to mediation to obtain the assistance of a neutral third-party. Not only is a mediator skilled in helping parties to resolve their differences, but this type of professional can often can formally write the changes the parties wish to make. Alternatively, the parties can request an attorney draft the changes they wish to make to their settlement agreements.
If mediation does not work, the parties can always contact attorneys for assistance. Attorneys will be able to tell their client if he (the client) has a reasonable case if they need to go to court. The attorney can also work with the other party’s attorney to try to resolve their differences between the couple. If all else fails, the parties can go to court and present their case to the judge. This can be expensive, time consuming, and stressful. Moreover, there is no guaranteed win – for either party. An added risk is the serious damage that can be done to what may already be a poor relationship with the ex-spouse. In extremely difficult situations, however, utilizing an attorney may be absolutely necessary to making changes affecting large amounts of money or serious parenting issues.
My experience is that if parties can agree to changes, they are likely to save money, preserve a working relationship with the other party, and potentially obtain the agreement that works for both of them. This is true whether consensus is obtained by discussions with each other or by using a mediator. After the divorce, things may not necessarily set in stone. It is possible to change things, but it is certainly easier if parties can negotiate and agree to the changes.