Divorce Mediation May be a Good Option for Many

The recession has changed the face of divorce.  Divorcing couples have a lot less money to spend, and the dividing the assets and debt has become even more important than ever.  Couples are often angry and emotional when going through divorce, and all too frequently, one or both parties’ initial reaction is to “get an attorney and go to court.”  In some cases, hiring an attorney is necessary and the smart thing to do.  There are some pitfalls, however.  Attorneys often help clients settle out of court, but the cost is high – both emotionally and financially.  And using attorneys to settle a case is often a matter of positional bargaining – one wherein more “stuff” for one person means less for the other party.  Litigation is even more expensive and emotionally draining. 

One way to potentially save money on divorce is through mediation – if both parties truly want to try to settle.  Mediation is usually “interest-based,” in that the mediator helps the parties to satisfy their interests and concerns in the divorce, rather than just dividing the pie.  So – not only can mediation be a more-cost effective solution, the outcome can be creative and include any number of issues that are important to the divorcing couple, but not necessarily to an attorney.  Moreover, the parties are more likely to adhere to the settlement if they have a role in creating their settlement.

These days, any settlement agreement (called a Memorandum of Understanding by many mediators) should be very thorough.  The rocky economic times in which we live dictates that a good agreement should contain any number of “what-if?” clauses.  What if the house doesn’t sell?  What if one of us loses our job?  What if one of us gets sick and can’t make the payments as agreed?  What if the spouse getting the house cannot refinance?  These and other questions that are germane to each couple’s situation should be included in a settlement agreement these days. 

In mediation circles, there is an expression, “If you litigate, you lose.”  Although a dramatic expression, there is some truth to this.  With mediation, couples maintain control of the process, expenses, and potentially, the outcome.  With litigation, couples put much of their control in the hands of attorneys, the expenses can increase dramatically, and the outcome is often a crapshoot in the courts.  Even if the couple does not go to court, and the attorneys are very involved in settling the divorce – and all too often their focus is strictly on dividing the marital assets.  They may or may help to resolve other, often personal, interests that are important to one or both of the parties.  Additionally, attorneys may or may not be aware of the taxes and the long-term impacts of the settlement on one or both parties. 

Be aware that just because you may be going to mediation for your divorce, you can still consult an attorney.  An attorney will be able to provide good, legal advice, especially for more complex cases.  At a minimum, an attorney can review your Memorandum of Understanding to make sure your legal interests are covered.  Moreover, if the mediation is not successful (and not all are have positive results), you always have the option of stopping the process and going to attorneys.

Mediation is a potential solution if both parties truly want to settle their divorce without attorneys and litigation.  It can achieve a win-win outcome, address the couples’ interests and concerns, and result in a more positive adherence to the settlement, all at a possible lowered costs.  It is not necessarily the right approach for each couple and each situation – but it is important that both parties know and understand their option.

This entry was posted on October 12, 2009 at 2:41 pm and is filed under General Divorce Issues, Money and Divorce, Divorce Mediation. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response or trackback from your own site.

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