Keep Cool when Divorce Gets Hot

Emotions turned on high can cause divorce fires. How can you turn the temperature down? I have a few suggestions. The first is certainly mediation. A qualified mediator has learned techniques to help emotional couples through the process to settlement. Sometimes a therapist is helpful for one or both parties. Try stress reduction options such as meditation, exercise, and journaling. These can help you to take your mind off the situation and emotions, or to vent in a safe atmosphere. Some people find that running various financial scenarios and options may help, especially if they are anxious about the finances of the situation (and most people are!). You can also consider what Ury and Fisher, in the book, “Getting to Yes”, call the Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement, or BATMA. If you are mediating, what is the alternative? Negotiate without the mediator? Engage an attorney? What if you go to court? What will the expenses be? And sometimes, you have to accept that you just need to have time an patience to get through the process and things WILL be better in the future.

About wendy

Wendy W. Spencer, CFP, CDFA is a Certified Financial Planner, a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, and a family law mediator who helps divorcing individuals, couples, and families to review and obtain more sensible settlement options. Ms. Spencer also helps these families to resolve their differences through mediation and/or participation in the collaborative divorce process. For the convenience of clients throughout the Denver metro area, Ms. Spencer has two offices - one in Arvada and one in Southeast Denver.
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