Men are Always at Fault, Right?

In a divorce, one party often portrays their spouse as a villain. This stereotype has continued, and even grown over the years and even though many women have jobs, knowledge, access to information, and are empowered much more than in the past. I have mediated a lot of cases, and in the matter of affairs, I must say that it truly is not always the man. Take the matter of extra-marital affairs. It seems that it takes two people to have an affair and interestingly enough, the straying partner is not always the man. My understanding is that about 50% of married people who bed-wander are married women. Part of this is probably the modern job situation, where excuses are more easily contrived, women are required to travel and spend more time away from home, and frankly, there is more access to temptation if a woman is not always home with the children. In other working environments, I have also seen the occasional notorious women who prey on married men. These women (some themselves married) reportedly like the challenge of luring married men, and find them easier to manipulate – the married man has a lot more to lose, these women think, and therefore won’t be a problem to dump or mistreat. Or so several of these morally questionable women have told me in the past. However, it doesn’t mean that men can’t and don’t use their brains. Many are too smart to fall for this sort of clichéd tawdry affair, or are not inclined to stray. No, men are not always to blame, and there is plenty of blame to go around anyway.

About wendy

Wendy W. Spencer, CFP, CDFA is a Certified Financial Planner, a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, and a family law mediator who helps divorcing individuals, couples, and families to review and obtain more sensible settlement options. Ms. Spencer also helps these families to resolve their differences through mediation and/or participation in the collaborative divorce process. For the convenience of clients throughout the Denver metro area, Ms. Spencer has two offices - one in Arvada and one in Southeast Denver.
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